Covid’s forced me to admit… she’s NOT the One.
My girlfriend and I have been together for six years and she keeps hinting at where things are going. I really don’t see myself marrying her and my mother thinks I can do better. Should I just end the relationship now or am I too far gone to just walk away? Covid made everything more intense, I don’t want to hurt her but I don’t want to be trapped either.
Wonderful man, you hold the reins to the ‘Chariot of your Life’. You are the maker of your own reality. You are a conscious being of choice. Things are never too far gone, you always have choice. However living your truth requires both bravery and vulnerability. It requires having an intimate relationship with yourself where you can be transparent, honest and truthful to the core of your heart and soul.
6 years is a long time: 72 months, 2190 days. If in that amount of time you’ve decided that you are never going to marry her, then I challenge you to set her free immediately. It is unfair to string someone along who you have no intention of moving forward with. In all straight forward honesty, it’s cowardly. You’re bigger than this. You’re in the way of her finding someone who thinks she’s the One. And you’re in the way of you finding someone who you would be delighted to marry or, discovering that you choose not to be married at all and you can express that truth to women you meet/date/relate.
Will your news make her sad?
Yet ultimately grateful?
Hopefully, because she will finally have the TRUTH and be set free to find someone who chooses to partner with her and create a life, perhaps family together.
One caveat, if the only reason you don’t want to marry her is your mother’s opinion, then we really have some deep work to do. Many people don’t even choose their own life… they live by their parents or society’s beliefs, they’re so stuck in wanting other’s approvals and avoiding conflict that they live a fake, neutered, mediocre life of settling.
Right now you’re creating your own prison. Right now you’ve trapped yourself.
Please first do your inner work to be clear that it’s YOUR choice not to marry her, not your mother’s. Then do your inner work to be sure that you realize every relationship is equal challenge and support, there’s no perfect person out there. There’s no relationship where it’s sunshine everyday. You’re going to face obstacles with whoever you meet.
⚠️ So the question becomes:
Are these obstacles a catalyst for your greatest soul’s evolution, or do they take you away from your mission vision and purpose?
If after doing the inner work you are still clear she is not the one, then I recommend you create a beautiful ceremony of gratitude for every way that she has contributed positively to your life. Then you own your truth, that in your heart of hearts, you are not committed to moving forward with her and the best way you could love her is to set her free! Free, to find someone who is committed to moving forward with her. Let her know that she has every right to feel all of her feelings, that you’re in total allowance of however she feels… And that you care for her very deeply and wish her every happiness on her relationship journey.
(I feel like saying to open white wine, not red wine in case she throws it on your shirt… Yet, I HOPE it doesn’t go this way… but 6 yrs is a LONG time to hope a man chooses you…and I want to support you in foreshadowing that she may be disappointed… )
If you require any support in this process and if this has revealed that it’s time to do inner intimacy work to set yourself up for a thriving relationship or thriving single lifestyle moving forward, I would be delighted to empower your greatest relationship life.
Learn more by taking my Intimacy Blind-spot Assessment Quiz at www.AllanaPratt.com/quiz
You will get further clarity, direction and guidance on what may be the hidden culprit of your relationship challenges so as to give you your power back and set you up to thrive long term.
13 August, 2020
Intimacy Expert, Allana Pratt is a global media personality and go-to authority for those who have suffered heartbreak and are ready to live unapologetically, and attract an open-hearted, ideal relationship.
Her vulnerability and courage landed her a featured weekly column on the GoodMenProject, featured as an Icon of Influence, and as a Guest Expert on Huffington Post, People Magazine, Forbes, CBS & FOX and The Jenny McCarthy Show.
This Ivy League grad is the Author of 4 books, has interviewed Whoopi Goldberg and Alanis Morissette, and Hosts the edgy Podcast “Intimate Conversations” where listeners learn how to find the relationship they deserve. A certified coach, Allana was asked by Leeza Gibbons to coach her during Dancing with the Stars. With close to 5 million viewers on YouTube, Allana supports non profits like ‘Rise of the Butterfly’ to end human trafficking while offering private coaching and retreats so that her clients have a thriving intimate relationship with themselves first, which naturally attracts and enhances their ideal partnerships.
Contact Allana directly at: www.AllanaPratt.com