How to effortlessly be charming
Can you imagine how your life would become even more magical if you could improve your capacity to be charming?
But, trying too hard to be charming actually DESTROYS charm! 😲
True charm is about being yourself… Totally at peace with the good, the bad and the ugly.
Thus, the first key would be if you are at HOME with being yourself?
Are you at peace in your skin? Or are you trying to cover up or improve on your already unique self?
Charming people have made friends with their idiosyncrasies, their uniqueness, their differences, their wobbles.
The second key is being ‘less interesting’ and ‘more interested’ in making someone feel seen, understood and significant.
When we are insecure we are in our head trying to be impressive, right, intelligent, the winner. We seek approval, wanting to be the center of attention, making life all about ME, ME, ME.
This kills charm and repels people.
Choose to listen, to ask questions, to pay attention, to be moved by people’s stories, to care and be empathetic to their journey. Let them feel like the most important person on the planet. See if you can allow them to be exactly who they are without changing one thing, even if you’d prefer something different. Seek to discover what’s charming about THEM.
The third key is letting go of the outcome and going with the flow, even if the conversation gets dorky, vulnerable or deeply meaningful.
Let go of needing the conversation to be a certain way, let go of making the connection significant or important. If it goes deep, great! If it’s shallow, great! If it’s business related, great! If it’s personal, great! Be like with those mechanical pitching cages where ball after ball comes…
Your job is to be present and show up and engage. Let yourself respond authentically to their comments, be touched by the magnificence of who you’re talking to… and watch how people feel SO damn good around you… that they call you charming.
At the end of the day, my male clients tell me that if they date three equally beautiful, intelligent and sexy women… they will only want a second date with the one that made them feel good. And when we decipher WHAT made them feel good, it was that the women were charming, they cared about HIM, they made him feel like a hero.
Same with what makes a woman want to go on a second date with a man. Three equally handsome, wealthy and accomplished men… she’ll go for the one with the kind heart, who made her feel seen and safe. Who was so present that he was three steps ahead to make her feel supported, who didn’t lose his shit when the dinner reservation got messed up, he just rolled with the punches, used humor, looked on the bright side, made the best of it.
You can do this.
Practice and let me know how it goes. And if you keep getting attached, spinning in your head, still too afraid of rejection to be your authentic self, then a blind-spot is the way that we need to break through. A great way to start changing this, is discovering your Intimacy Blind-spot.
Get one step closer to having both the authentic charm and the thriving intimate relationships that you deserve! I invite you to discover your Intimacy Blind-spot at: AllanaPratt.com/quiz
Allana xox ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
Written on 8 May, 2020
Intimacy Expert, Allana Pratt is a global media personality and go-to authority for those who have suffered heartbreak and are ready to live unapologetically, and attract an open-hearted, ideal relationship.
Her vulnerability and courage landed her a featured weekly column on the GoodMenProject, featured as an Icon of Influence, and as a Guest Expert on Huffington Post, People Magazine, Forbes, CBS & FOX and The Jenny McCarthy Show.
This Ivy League grad is the Author of 4 books, has interviewed Whoopi Goldberg and Alanis Morissette, and Hosts the edgy Podcast “Intimate Conversations” where listeners learn how to find the relationship they deserve. A certified coach, Allana was asked by Leeza Gibbons to coach her during Dancing with the Stars. With close to 5 million viewers on YouTube, Allana supports non profits like ‘Rise of the Butterfly’ to end human trafficking while offering private coaching and retreats so that her clients have a thriving intimate relationship with themselves first, which naturally attracts and enhances their ideal partnerships.
Contact Allana directly at: www.AllanaPratt.com