What People Who Always Land Second Dates Do Differently
Many people experience that it’s not easy to land a second date.
🤔 What do people who always land second dates do more often?
🤔 What do they do differently during and post-first date?
🤔 What can you do to increase your chances of getting a second date?
Right out of the gate I ask if they REALLY want a second date. Sure, their cognitive mind wants approval, success, connection, being wanted… Yet nine times out of ten, someone who rarely scores a second date hasn’t slowed down enough to discover why they LOVE NOT having a second date.
💘 They love not having to risk rejection when more is on the line.
💘 They love keeping connections shallow and surface.
💘 They love knowing they won’t be rejected in the future.
💘 They love not sharing their insecure, uncertain, not perfect parts with another.
💘 They love not having to get more vulnerable, transparent or authentic.
💘 They love not having to invest time, energy, and money into something they can’t control.
💘They love being right that dating is hard, men/women suck etc.
💘 They love feeling in control of how deep their connections ever go.
💘 They love the chase, addicted to the hunt.
💘 They love living in fantasy not reality.
Few of us slow down to feel. Few of us really tell the truth about what’s working about only having first dates… We often cloud over this reality complaining and justifying.
Yet when people coach with me and we reveal their intimacy blind-spot, they are welcomed to grow their intimate relationship with themselves.
🎯 They learn how to define their worth from the inside out.
🎯 They learn how to not lose themselves in a relationship.
🎯 They learn how to heal past traumas and stay present in the unknown.
🎯 They learn to keep their heart open to deep love, connection and intimacy when it matters most.
🎯 They learn to literally SEE who they’ve been blind to, who’s an ideal partner because they’ve done the work to become ‘The One’ they’ve been looking for.
From there, the following three tips work. Yet until you’ve broken through your intimacy blind spot and become “The One” who is brilliant and beautiful … This advice is hard to effectively apply with successful results… it’s like sprinkles on an ice cream cone of crap 😉
Nonetheless, my clients who have learned to land second dates all the way to engagement and marriage… Did three important things:
💝 Be Interested not Interesting: Instead of trying to impress their date, they were genuinely curious about their date. They ask questions that dove into areas of meaning, fulfillment and purpose. They were phenomenal listeners with no agenda other than to understand.
💝 Be Present and Authentic: Instead of having their attention wander, they made their date the object of their attention. They chose a location where it was easy to focus their attention. AND they didn’t say they like fishing if they hated it! They were real and authentic, willing to risk being different, willing to have a polarizing conversation of truth without needing to be right, dominate or win… again they stayed curious, in allowance, enjoying the dance of the unknown.
💝 ASK for Date #2! This is so simple yet often forgotten! They literally claimed the moment, dropped into their body and knowing, decided if they wanted to see the other person again and asked. If they needed a moment, they excused themselves to the washroom, sat down and felt into their heart. They asked their whole being if it would be a contribution to their life to see this person again.
They said that they were grateful for the time spent together… and either in the moment or via text… They shared that they enjoyed getting to know one another yet they didn’t feel that special spark they require, so they wish them the very best on their relationship journey!
They asked. The men told her they had a great time and would like to take her out again. They specifically asked, How’s next Thursday? They booked it on the spot!
For the women, if he didn’t ask, she told him that she had a great time and would love to see him again… she ‘dropped the hankie’ and let him know he’d WIN by asking her out again. Then she let it go and let him step up and ask.
Again, this level of authenticity, courage, connection and intimacy isn’t possible if you’re seeking ‘The One’ in order to be good enough. That energy just pushes people away. Or attracts needy or controlling people. Once you’ve become ‘The One’ who is brilliant and beautiful, notice how you ironically attract your ideal partner and share the deep connection you’ve always desired and deserved.
I’ve got your back.
Huge love, Allana xoox
Written 5 November, 2019
Intimacy Expert, Allana Pratt is a global media personality and go-to authority for those who have suffered heartbreak and are ready to live unapologetically, and attract an open-hearted, ideal relationship.
Her vulnerability and courage landed her a featured weekly column on the GoodMenProject, featured as an Icon of Influence, and as a Guest Expert on Huffington Post, People Magazine, Forbes, CBS & FOX and The Jenny McCarthy Show.
This Ivy League grad is the Author of 4 books, has interviewed Whoopi Goldberg and Alanis Morissette, and Hosts the edgy Podcast “Intimate Conversations” where listeners learn how to find the relationship they deserve. A certified coach, Allana was asked by Leeza Gibbons to coach her during Dancing with the Stars. With close to 5 million viewers on YouTube, Allana supports non profits like ‘Rise of the Butterfly’ to end human trafficking while offering private coaching and retreats so that her clients have a thriving intimate relationship with themselves first, which naturally attracts and enhances their ideal partnerships.
Contact Allana directly at: www.allanapratt.com