Lessons from Lockdown: Feel your Feelings
“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.” ~ Helen Keller
What did we learn from quarantine that we would be wise to keep applying?
I believe the reason we have such an obese, drug abusing, workaholic, Facebook or porn addicted society, is that we aren’t feeling our feelings. We’re spinning fast that so we don’t have to feel. We’ve fed our hunger for belonging, with temporary highs. Hurt people, hurt people. You need to feel it to heal it.
Quarantined lives are forced to slow down and notice our numbing. Lockdown invites us to feel our feelings and face what we’ve been avoiding in ourselves and our relationships. If you don’t know how to navigate intense emotions, it can be excruciatingly uncomfortable to discover how out of control you feel. AND we’ve been told negative emotions are bad and wrong, so self judgment and criticism magnifies the problem.
Yet on the other hand, we’re also seeing people respond to the uncomfortable feelings in a healthy way such as meditating, journaling, taking online mindfulness courses, signing up for intimacy training, listening to podcasts about self care. People are invited to return to what really matters like connection, relationships, following our dreams, being with people who honor us.
My client Ryan had this habit of giving his time away for free. His debt was growing. He loved the appreciation he’d get from helping people at no charge. He was terrified to ask to be paid for his extraordinary expertise, afraid to be rejected, deep down believing people only liked him because they could use him.
When the pandemic hit, his fears escalated. He started to get angry, really pissed at all the people who were using him, taking advantage of him, not appreciating him. I didn’t talk him out of his feelings, I didn’t go to solve the problem. I let him sit in the fire and burn until he got it. He had created the whole thing. He never asked to be compensated. He was being a victim of his own making.
Once we effectively processed the feelings of fear into confidence, blame into responsibility, victim into noble badass… Ryan chose to create a package to offer when he was asked to help people. For those who didn’t want to pay upfront, he created a % of sales on the back-end. No longer was he willing to work for free as appreciation crumbs weren’t paying his bills. Those that only wanted to use him were pissed and left. That’s OK, they never honored him anyways. New people appreciated his flexible packages and he began to make money. Soon I know he will be debt free. AND as he felt his feelings, he found his self worth… which is raising his net worth. Magnificent to behold.
Keep taking time out to feel & breathe, be patient and compassionate, gain wisdom & insights, keep a journal to discover the root of what’s bothering you. Finally, dissolve traumas you’ve avoiding, reveal your blind-spots and create new habits. Hire a coach and heal sabotaging patterns, create a life you love.
Blind-spots are always in the way of receiving love and money. Past emasculations and rejections or absent parents are generally the source of these wounds. Seeking our worth outside of us never works personally or professionally.
Going through my digital curriculum or group coaching programs creates exponential results. Begin with my complimentary Intimacy Blind-spot Assessment at www.AllanaPratt.com/quiz Discover what’s holding you back and our Team will guide you to the best program for your highest results.
“It’s often just enough to be with someone. I don’t need to touch them. Not even talk. A feeling passes between you both. You’re not alone.”
~ Marilyn Monroe
Gratefully and deliciously,
Allana xox ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
Written on 18 June, 2020
Intimacy Expert, Allana Pratt is a global media personality and go-to authority for those who have suffered heartbreak and are ready to live unapologetically, and attract an open-hearted, ideal relationship.
Her vulnerability and courage landed her a featured weekly column on the GoodMenProject, featured as an Icon of Influence, and as a Guest Expert on Huffington Post, People Magazine, Forbes, CBS & FOX and The Jenny McCarthy Show.
This Ivy League grad is the Author of 4 books, has interviewed Whoopi Goldberg and Alanis Morissette, and Hosts the edgy Podcast “Intimate Conversations” where listeners learn how to find the relationship they deserve. A certified coach, Allana was asked by Leeza Gibbons to coach her during Dancing with the Stars. With close to 5 million viewers on YouTube, Allana supports non profits like ‘Rise of the Butterfly’ to end human trafficking while offering private coaching and retreats so that her clients have a thriving intimate relationship with themselves first, which naturally attracts and enhances their ideal partnerships.
Contact Allana directly at: www.AllanaPratt.com