Tomorrow I will Clean Up My Act!
“I partied my butt off, pigged out, and drank myself under the table for my birthday. Man, I could not believe how horrible I felt… So I vowed to clean up my act. So I’m here to detox my body for a little bit but before I start, I’m going away to party with my friends. This way I can start fresh and be good as new.”
As my client expressed to me his recent quest to ‘live it up’ before his monumental event, thinking he could just abuse his body one more time, clean it out for a little while and would be ‘good as new’… I thought to myself, “I wonder who sold him on this thought process, of abusing his body and thinking he’s good to go after a short period of time?”
We hear countless tales of people whooping it up before they ‘try’ to change their behavior such as going on a diet, a detox program or an exercise regimen to ‘get it out of their system’, as if it were a bacteria.
They have come to the conclusion that, “It is time!” Whether the reason is they cannot take the pain anymore, the nagging from loved ones or whatever the trigger may be, they have somehow come to this magical time.
This new phase in their lives to transform has presented itself as if ‘Father Time’ somehow, smacked them in the back of the head and told them to “Wake Up!”
My client’s perception was he could clean out his body for a little while and be good as new so it would be ready to party again soon. This is analogous of owning a rusty car and now it is time to use the miraculous gel he saw on TV. All he has to do is wipe it on the rust and instantly, it will be gone! And of course, do nothing to prevent it from coming back even if the product really did work.
His expectation that it would only take a few days to undo the damage that he caused, not only from this event but from countless other times he “whooped it up,” is unfortunately millions of other people’s view of getting healthy, one of the top New Year’s resolutions people place on the bar napkin on New Year’s Eve as they ask the bartender for “another round” or grab a handful of bar nuts.
As easily as that napkin can be thrown away, so can their attempt to change their lives in a half-hearted (if that) attempt to mesomorph their body, mind and life in a short period of time, whether it is after January 1st or after they have decided, “It is time!”
I wanted to give my client a vivid example to realize what was truly going on here.
I told him to imagine a row of dominoes so when the last domino fell, it triggered an explosion of confetti throughout the air, and I asked him if he pushed the first domino, what really caused the explosion? He said the last domino.
I said; “Not really.”
I explained to him this thought process of the last ‘domino’ causing the explosion, was the same thinking as what he had about partying – his last ‘domino’ causing his own explosion, the one coming from his head during his hangover.
It’s the first ‘domino’ that truly causes the explosion because it allows the last ‘domino’ to fall.
What we found later while he was his feeling of worthlessness was his first domino, the true reason for his partying with his friends which led to his hangovers. He felt his life was not turning out the way he thought so partying with his friends made him feel valuable.
I explained to him that he thought he could just stop partying and start detoxing and that would fix everything. That’s focusing on the last domino, not the first one.
Our mind does not focus on the cause but the effect. That is what is on our mind, is the last thing that we sense.
See, there is always a gift in every situation, ‘good’ and ‘bad’.
He could have continued to look at his partying as his true cause which would continue to frustrate him as it has to so many people.
But now he looks at his partying as telling him to stop focusing on the effect and start looking for the real cause. So to me, this behavior got him to me to find out the real reason for his behavior so it could be turned around.
Do you have “last domino” thinking? Do you focus on the outcome? Do you not look at it as a gift but a problem that plagues you?
Why not share it and let’s continue the conversation.
Written by Dr. Philip Agrios on 7 Feb, 2020
Dr. Philip Agrios is an international personal and business consultant, author and speaker.
He works with people worldwide to help them understand how their ‘Inborn Sabotaging Trait’ is protecting them from the successful life and business / career they were meant to have.
You can take a short quiz that will give you your sabotaging trait for free at www.dragrios.com.
Contact Dr. Philip Agrios, directly at firstname.lastname@example.org.