Co-Parenting as a Divorced Couple…
Co-Parenting as a divorced couple can definitely add stress to the already challenging job of being a parent.
Especially, when one parent wants to control almost every situation. It’s tough because your relationship has ended, but you still both have a responsibility to take care of your kids. This is why it’s crucial that you learn to balance your emotions and do whatever is best for the children.
Research shows that kids thrive in positive co-parenting environments. They feel more secure and thrive when both parents have similar parenting styles.
This is where my stress levels increase because my ex and I seem to come from opposite ends of the spectrum. Where he feels the need to be there for every possible waking moment, I’m more inclined to let the kids learn and discover on their own. Balancing my own emotions and appreciating his point of view, looking at the pros and cons of both his parenting style and mine, helps me to relieve the anxiety I can feel surrounding each situation as it arises.
The children are generally able to handle issues easier. They know they have both of us that they can rely on in tough situations. When my ex and I work together we are setting a good example to follow for our children in their own future relationships.
I’ve learned some things over the years in regards to handling emotions while co-parenting. Separate your feelings from the kids. Example: After a separation or divorce one might be left dealing with pain, anger, and resentment. It’s important to acknowledge these feelings and be grateful for each emotion to help balance your emotions allowing one to take care of the children.
I learned it’s okay to deal with your feelings by getting help, like meeting with a Life Coach or just talking to family and friends. However, we shouldn’t look to the children to lend their ears. I learned I have to avoid at all costs complaining about my ex in front of the kids or using them to convey messages to him. It’s not their responsibility to handle my relationship issues. They also couldn’t be isolated from him because my emotions were getting the best of me.
It’s so important to communicate with my ex about the kids. Things come up and we still need to talk to each other. I really have to try to make my communications about the kids free from anger and stress. This isn’t always easy to achieve, but it’s an important and beneficial goal. Maintaining a formal tone in my conversations can help to de-personalize the discussion enough to get through it peacefully. Also, listening is one of the keys to success… I have to be willing to listen to what he has to say as well.
It may seem redundant, but co-parenting requires that we work together. The kids need to receive consistent rules and advice from both of us. They’ve learned that going to either of us will give them similar results. Last thing either of us wants is them playing us against each other to get their way.
Co-parenting with my ex can be difficult and stressful at times. Keeping a balanced mindset and doing the best for the children helps to reduce the chaos, level out the emotions, and minimize the stress as we work together.
Love and Light to you and yours!!
Written by Dawn-Marie on 16 Sept 2019
Dawn-Marie P. Dalsass, President of Livelihood Spirit Balance is a Stress Management Maven. She’s a Stress and Anxiety Expert for Middle Managers. She started her career in Corporate America while she was in high school and worked her way up the ranks finding herself in middle to upper management for most of her corporate career. She loved what she did but along the way she battled stress, anxiety and depression. When work and life were more than she could handle she planned her suicide in detail. Fortunately, she didn’t go through with it when she saw her 2 little boys on her way to get a knife with a plan to end it all. It was in that moment that she vowed to pull herself together and begin a new journey.
In 2015 she started her own business called Life Coach DM. After several years of working with clients, she realized that the majority of her clients were in middle management just like she was. She had helped most go from being stressed, anxious and / or depressed to being more balanced, aware and dynamic while guiding them on their own journey to achieve life goals including work life balance.
Dawn-Marie has since become a Certified Nature & Forest Therapy Guide and teaches individuals how they too can annihilate the stress, anxiety and depression (aka S.A.D) that middle managers and working parents can face through a process called equilibration (the balancing of the mind and emotions) along with the healing benefits a deep connection to nature (both indoors and out) can bring to become fully balanced, aware and dynamic (aka B.A.D).
Through her own practice, Dawn-Marie discovered what she calls Livelihood Spirit Balance where how one lives their life is in alignment with their authentic self, their B.A.D Ass-self. With Livelihood Spirit Balance, Work Life Balance and everything else just falls into place.
Based on her years of work and client success stories, Dawn-Marie changed her business name to Livelihood Spirit Balance to align with her teachings, mission, vision and purpose.
Dawn-Marie offers online courses, personal and corporate development coaching, workshops and seminars. As the owner of Total Convalescence – Nature & Forest Therapy she also offers public and private Nature & Forest Therapy Walks.
Dawn-Marie is a:
- Certified Mindset Transformation Coach
- Certified Nature & Forest Therapy Guide
- Certified Law of Attraction Wealth Practitioner
- Certified Fraud Examiner and
- Certified Internal Controls Auditor