How to Develop Your Emotional Intelligence to Lead a Balanced Life
This past week I reacted emotionally to a situation that struck fear in my heart and I lashed out at someone in panic. Yes, even I can get overly emotional sometimes. The person on the receiving end of my fear became distant and I had to rethink how my reaction affected her. In turn I felt compelled to apologize in a loving way and I did. But this also got me thinking about how I should have known better how to handle myself in a way that would have been more beneficial to both myself and the other person.
You’ve likely heard the term “emotional intelligence,” which was first used in the early 1990s. Emotional intelligence is commonly described as the ability to perceive, evaluate, and manage emotions in others and ourselves. Many experts consider it to be a better indicator for success than someone’s IQ. Your ability to manage yourself and others is dependent on your emotional intelligence.
Here are several techniques, known to develop and increase your emotional intelligence:
🔑 Accept responsibility for your emotions and actions.
Realize that outside influences don’t determine your emotions and behavior. You can view things from a different perspective and choose how you’ll respond. Once you are aware of how you respond it’s much easier to balance your mind.
🔑 Become an active listener.
If you focus 100% on whoever you’re interacting with, you’ll be in a better position to notice and evaluate what they’re thinking and feeling.
- It isn’t easy to hide one’s emotions, but you still have to pay attention. The more information you have, the better you can respond.
🔑 Develop self-awareness.
We’re constantly monitoring our bank accounts and the number on the bathroom scale. Yet, few of us monitor our thoughts, emotions, and behavior. Ask yourself throughout the day what you’re feeling. Is the way you’re feeling affecting your choices in a way that can be perceived as negative?
- Are you choosing your behaviors in an intelligent manner or allowing others to push your buttons?
🔑 Learn to effectively deal with your impulses. Impulsiveness is a common cause of personal turmoil. We feel bad, so we order a pizza even after we’ve already had dinner. Or we grab a credit card and purchase something unnecessary. This type of behavior moves us further away from our objectives.
- Notice when you’re behaving in a counterproductive manner and strive to make a more effective choice. Being successful and happy can be challenging enough on its own. Avoid sabotaging yourself.
🔑 Volunteer to help those less fortunate.
Spending time with those in need will increase your sensitivity for others.
- After witnessing very obvious emotions, you’ll become more skilled at picking up on more subtle cues. You’re also likely to develop greater sensitivity for others.
🔑 Keep the focus on responding. Those with lower levels of emotional intelligence react, rather than respond.
Responding requires thought and consideration. When you respond, you’re making a decision. Reacting is more like a reflex. There’s no thought involved, just the emotional response.
- Have you ever regretted saying or doing something without thinking it through? How would you have handled the situation differently? What can you do to give yourself the mental space to respond more effectively in the future?
- Avoid lashing out when someone hurts your feelings. Your reaction can make the situation better or worse.
🔑 Work at increasing your empathy.
Those with high levels of emotional intelligence, are skilled at recognizing and relating to the emotions of others.
Recognizing that someone is upset will allow you to have a more effective response.
- Ask yourself, how you would like to be treated if you were feeling the same emotions.
You probably know someone, highly skilled at managing their emotions. Their emphasis is on finding solutions. They refrain from getting angry or defensive. These individuals make intelligent decisions and can view themselves objectively.
Emotional intelligence is an important component of healthy relationships, both at home and work. Your life will be more successful if you can effectively learn how to manage the emotions of yourself and others. The ability to avoid or de-escalate interpersonal conflict through their emotional intelligence is a valuable skill to any Balanced, Aware and Dynamic B.A.D Ass successful individual!!
Love & Light 🙏🌈🙏
The Stress Management Maven &
Your Nature Goddess Guide
5 November, 2020
Dawn-Marie P. Dalsass, President of Livelihood Spirit Balance is a Stress Management Maven. She’s a Stress and Anxiety Expert for Middle Managers. She started her career in Corporate America while she was in high school and worked her way up the ranks finding herself in middle to upper management for most of her corporate career. She loved what she did but along the way she battled stress, anxiety and depression. When work and life were more than she could handle she planned her suicide in detail. Fortunately, she didn’t go through with it when she saw her 2 little boys on her way to get a knife with a plan to end it all. It was in that moment that she vowed to pull herself together and begin a new journey.
In 2015 she started her own business called Life Coach DM. After several years of working with clients, she realized that the majority of her clients were in middle management just like she was. She had helped most go from being stressed, anxious and / or depressed to being more balanced, aware and dynamic while guiding them on their own journey to achieve life goals including work life balance.
Dawn-Marie has since become a Certified Nature & Forest Therapy Guide and teaches individuals how they too can annihilate the stress, anxiety and depression (aka S.A.D) that middle managers and working parents can face through a process called equilibration (the balancing of the mind and emotions) along with the healing benefits a deep connection to nature (both indoors and out) can bring to become fully balanced, aware and dynamic (aka B.A.D).
Through her own practice, Dawn-Marie discovered what she calls Livelihood Spirit Balance where how one lives their life is in alignment with their authentic self, their B.A.D Ass-self. With Livelihood Spirit Balance, Work Life Balance and everything else just falls into place.
Based on her years of work and client success stories, Dawn-Marie changed her business name to Livelihood Spirit Balance to align with her teachings, mission, vision and purpose.
Dawn-Marie offers online courses, personal and corporate development coaching, workshops and seminars. As the owner of Total Convalescence – Nature & Forest Therapy she also offers public and private Nature & Forest Therapy Walks.
Dawn-Marie is a:
- Certified Mindset Transformation Coach
- Certified Nature & Forest Therapy Guide
- Certified Law of Attraction Wealth Practitioner
- Certified Fraud Examiner and
- Certified Internal Controls Auditor