Lessons from Lockdown: Letting Go of Control
“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” ~ Victor Frankl
What did we learn from quarantine that we would be wise to keep applying?
The illusion of control is ‘bankrupt’. Life is inherently uncertain whether we like it or not. Control freaks have been humbled and are invited to go inward and stop numbing with Facebook, eating, drinking, porn or overworking. Thus reacting is useless. Responding is wise. Feeling your feelings is essential.
One of the hugest gifts we can give ourselves is to do the inner work to find peace, safety and approval on the inside.
This allows our true worth to blossom and no longer grasp to outside achievements to prove we’re good enough. This feels like curiosity, confidence and certainty in the face of anything.
When my client Carrie, a super talented, driven, successful Type ‘A’ entered week 2 of lockdown, her daughter was home every day… She began sleeping in for the first time. We agreed she may be hiding a bit, avoiding feeling out of control… Yet instead of judging her, I asked her to go WITH it. Stay in bed on purpose. Take your journal. Connect with the part of you who feels helpless in the face of uncertainty.
Amazingly, Carrie made friends with her fear. She began soothing the part of her that never really had any control in the first place. She began going for beautiful walks in the nearby forest to contemplate rather than just take the dog out for a quick pee impatiently while multitasking and feeling pressure to get back to work. She slowed down into a lovely work/life balance. She was more patient and present with her daughter. She realized she’s safe on the inside. She’s come home to her soul.
Keep meditating, journaling, spending time in nature, feeling your feelings, self soothing without the addictions, connecting with true friends, learning to find your worth from the inside out where no one and no thing and no circumstance can take it away, ever.
Letting go of control can be authentically terrifying.
Had I not been holding space and coaching Carrie, she admits that she may have turned to alcohol, Netflix and scampered back to the high pace world without getting the gift.
Blind-spots are always the culprit. So, discover how to navigate your control issues successfully, by breaking through your blind-spot at: www.AllanaPratt.com/quiz in our complimentary Intimacy Blind-spot Assessment.
Gratefully and deliciously,
Allana xox ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
“I wanted a perfect ending. Now I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity.” ~ Gilda Radner
Written on 18 June, 2020
Intimacy Expert, Allana Pratt is a global media personality and go-to authority for those who have suffered heartbreak and are ready to live unapologetically, and attract an open-hearted, ideal relationship.
Her vulnerability and courage landed her a featured weekly column on the GoodMenProject, featured as an Icon of Influence, and as a Guest Expert on Huffington Post, People Magazine, Forbes, CBS & FOX and The Jenny McCarthy Show.
This Ivy League grad is the Author of 4 books, has interviewed Whoopi Goldberg and Alanis Morissette, and Hosts the edgy Podcast “Intimate Conversations” where listeners learn how to find the relationship they deserve. A certified coach, Allana was asked by Leeza Gibbons to coach her during Dancing with the Stars. With close to 5 million viewers on YouTube, Allana supports non profits like ‘Rise of the Butterfly’ to end human trafficking while offering private coaching and retreats so that her clients have a thriving intimate relationship with themselves first, which naturally attracts and enhances their ideal partnerships.
Contact Allana directly at: www.AllanaPratt.com